I like you.
I like you so much.
I like you so much and it scares me.
I like you so much and it scares me because I realise how much I stand to lose.
Myself. I don't want to lose myself anymore. It hurts way too much the last time and I'm not ready to do it again.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Sunday, November 18, 2012
17 Nov
The early morning of 17 Nov was a day of two firsts for me. I've been having mixed feelings about it because I have no idea how to feel about it. And it has been 7 months, longer than I expected. I'm surprised and I have no idea what I want anymore.
All I know is how much I like kissing you, being close to you and just hearing your voice. You do the lamest shit which makes me laugh and you feed me with such beautiful honey words. You're happy with the way I am, never asking me once to change who I am, however ugly I may be and that's probably the reason why I give in to you. Sometimes I want more, but sometimes I'm just happy with you and sometimes I just want you out my head once and for all.
All I know is how much I like kissing you, being close to you and just hearing your voice. You do the lamest shit which makes me laugh and you feed me with such beautiful honey words. You're happy with the way I am, never asking me once to change who I am, however ugly I may be and that's probably the reason why I give in to you. Sometimes I want more, but sometimes I'm just happy with you and sometimes I just want you out my head once and for all.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Never.
x I will never drink another bacardi 151 shot again (fucking 75%)
x I will never ever ever ever get myself drunk (swear)
x I will try not to buy a new pair of sandals (highly unlikely)
x I will never ever ever ever get myself drunk (swear)
x I will try not to buy a new pair of sandals (highly unlikely)
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Birthday week.
Okay so continuing where I left off.. Sorry it's been so long since my last post, just been really busy and tired.
So on the 27th, I went out with Harminder to support Gurgeet's play and surprisingly I said hi to more people than him on that night despite me being the 0.5% chinese population that night. No joke. Then we went to vault where I fell in love with cider and moshi moshi where I met the cutest waiter and befriended a dancer.
Had a date with Harminder and Wati on the 28th to have our overdue laksa steamboat! It's really good people, go try it. It's called San Laksa Steamboat. Anyways, it was our belated birthday celebration for both me and Wati and Harminder was being a sweetie cause he invited Kumar, Bianca, France and Eugie to surprise us. It was really nice of them. We headed off to Holland V for drinks and Gurgeet joined us too! Oh and that was the night I decided to detox for 1 week and I ended up only drinking yesterday (9th Nov). Not bad right! Heh
On the 29th, met up with Xinyi to get some Sephora goodies and totally didn't know that they'll be having a 20% discount storewide on the 1st to the 5th.. Arghhh but it's okay since I have those vouchers. Then Darren and Hancai joined us for dinner cause they're enlisting on the next day. Went to meet Ziyuan later on at night and then me and Xy went to meet Zac for some ice cream as supper. Super sinful but so good.
Met up with Xinyi and Libing on the 30th to the pool at Chinese Garden. Been such a long time since I had so much fun there and got so tanned which made me very happy! Went off to watch Perks of Being A Wallflower at J-cube and Harminder joined us too. I think like.. my friends are starting to know one and another, which is really nice cause we get to hang out altogether!
Went to JB with Aisyah on the 31st. Bought like 3 bras for $12? Super cheap but I haven't wore any of them yet. Heh.. Anyways the aim of going to JB is to have A&W waffles cause I was craving for it but they didn't have any ice cream on that day.. Erm, like what the hell right? But oh well, brought home quite a lot of goodies and got really tired.
Stayed home on the 1st and had Sambal Seafood for dinner with Mum and Dad and then was contemplating between staying at home or meet J at night. It was a nice start to my November until I got a call from Wati saying that she's at the A&E at NUH so I rushed down to see her in a wheelchair and a bloody bandage at her ankle. Yuck, it was seriously gross. So anyways, didn't get to meet J but luckily Wati was okay.
Gym with Aisyah on the 2nd and we tried this body combat class.. It was super retarded, like I regretted it the second it started. I was so awkward trying to keep up with the moves and it just reassured me that my favorite sports are still swimming and soccer. Then we went off to town for some shopping and I went to collect my pay! Was quite shocked to see that I got quite a bit for the last few days of work. Hmm.. yeah, that's all. Took a long bus ride to Jurong Point and hunted for quite some time for my pills and called J on my way home to talk.
Went for soccer on the 3rd and that's all I did for the whole day because by then.. my whole body was aching so badly. I just felt so nua and tired. Received a message from Sam that night asking me to help her for this production from the 4th to the 8th.
So yeah, helped out as an wardrobe assistant from the 4th to the 8th and like it was really the hardest money I've ever earned. Did the most sai of the sai gangs. But sort of opened my eyes to how the industry is really like and frankly, I quite enjoyed it but it was so fucking tiring. Headed to the bar to collect my pay on the 8th since we wrapped the whole tvc quite early. Went to meet J after that, missed him so much since I haven't seen him for near to 2 months! Am really glad to see him that night and he said so many things which made me so happy. Ah..
On the 9th, did some post prodution shit which I didn't get paid for but it's okay I guess. Went out with Sam afterwards to chill and had a really nice mudpie for dessert. Yum! I love mudpies.
And now.. I just want to relax and do nothing for a week and try my best to sell some of my stuff which are new to buy a black Rebecca Minkoff Mini Mac. SO in love with that bag and I have no idea why. So maybe during the time I take to sell some of my stuff away, this obsession will wear off but if it doesn't, then at least I know I won't regret my buy. Lastly.. so sorry for this post cause halfway through it, I realized this are all useless content. Heh, but yeah, just wanted to document my days. And I think I'll never get people who complains about staying at home and having nothing to do because I would really like to do that for the rest of my life. Heh
So on the 27th, I went out with Harminder to support Gurgeet's play and surprisingly I said hi to more people than him on that night despite me being the 0.5% chinese population that night. No joke. Then we went to vault where I fell in love with cider and moshi moshi where I met the cutest waiter and befriended a dancer.
Had a date with Harminder and Wati on the 28th to have our overdue laksa steamboat! It's really good people, go try it. It's called San Laksa Steamboat. Anyways, it was our belated birthday celebration for both me and Wati and Harminder was being a sweetie cause he invited Kumar, Bianca, France and Eugie to surprise us. It was really nice of them. We headed off to Holland V for drinks and Gurgeet joined us too! Oh and that was the night I decided to detox for 1 week and I ended up only drinking yesterday (9th Nov). Not bad right! Heh
On the 29th, met up with Xinyi to get some Sephora goodies and totally didn't know that they'll be having a 20% discount storewide on the 1st to the 5th.. Arghhh but it's okay since I have those vouchers. Then Darren and Hancai joined us for dinner cause they're enlisting on the next day. Went to meet Ziyuan later on at night and then me and Xy went to meet Zac for some ice cream as supper. Super sinful but so good.
Met up with Xinyi and Libing on the 30th to the pool at Chinese Garden. Been such a long time since I had so much fun there and got so tanned which made me very happy! Went off to watch Perks of Being A Wallflower at J-cube and Harminder joined us too. I think like.. my friends are starting to know one and another, which is really nice cause we get to hang out altogether!
Went to JB with Aisyah on the 31st. Bought like 3 bras for $12? Super cheap but I haven't wore any of them yet. Heh.. Anyways the aim of going to JB is to have A&W waffles cause I was craving for it but they didn't have any ice cream on that day.. Erm, like what the hell right? But oh well, brought home quite a lot of goodies and got really tired.
Stayed home on the 1st and had Sambal Seafood for dinner with Mum and Dad and then was contemplating between staying at home or meet J at night. It was a nice start to my November until I got a call from Wati saying that she's at the A&E at NUH so I rushed down to see her in a wheelchair and a bloody bandage at her ankle. Yuck, it was seriously gross. So anyways, didn't get to meet J but luckily Wati was okay.
Gym with Aisyah on the 2nd and we tried this body combat class.. It was super retarded, like I regretted it the second it started. I was so awkward trying to keep up with the moves and it just reassured me that my favorite sports are still swimming and soccer. Then we went off to town for some shopping and I went to collect my pay! Was quite shocked to see that I got quite a bit for the last few days of work. Hmm.. yeah, that's all. Took a long bus ride to Jurong Point and hunted for quite some time for my pills and called J on my way home to talk.
Went for soccer on the 3rd and that's all I did for the whole day because by then.. my whole body was aching so badly. I just felt so nua and tired. Received a message from Sam that night asking me to help her for this production from the 4th to the 8th.
So yeah, helped out as an wardrobe assistant from the 4th to the 8th and like it was really the hardest money I've ever earned. Did the most sai of the sai gangs. But sort of opened my eyes to how the industry is really like and frankly, I quite enjoyed it but it was so fucking tiring. Headed to the bar to collect my pay on the 8th since we wrapped the whole tvc quite early. Went to meet J after that, missed him so much since I haven't seen him for near to 2 months! Am really glad to see him that night and he said so many things which made me so happy. Ah..
On the 9th, did some post prodution shit which I didn't get paid for but it's okay I guess. Went out with Sam afterwards to chill and had a really nice mudpie for dessert. Yum! I love mudpies.
And now.. I just want to relax and do nothing for a week and try my best to sell some of my stuff which are new to buy a black Rebecca Minkoff Mini Mac. SO in love with that bag and I have no idea why. So maybe during the time I take to sell some of my stuff away, this obsession will wear off but if it doesn't, then at least I know I won't regret my buy. Lastly.. so sorry for this post cause halfway through it, I realized this are all useless content. Heh, but yeah, just wanted to document my days. And I think I'll never get people who complains about staying at home and having nothing to do because I would really like to do that for the rest of my life. Heh
Friday, October 26, 2012
Twenty
I was intending to blog about my birthday next week because I think the celebration's not over. Heh. But I just wanna say some things because I'm feeling really really really blessed this moment and next time if I'm in a bad mood, I can just read back on how I felt. (:
So I turned 20 on the 25th and I was really dreading it because I didn't want to turn 20 so badly and I didn't have any plans at all cause I didn't know what to do. But in the end, I spent the eve of my birthday with Jia at the petrol kiosk and she got me some halloween candies which was really random and then we went over to meet my sec school friends. It was nice, really nice to be spending the first few minutes of my birthday with her. I was really excited though, kept jumping around her saying "omg omg I'm turning twenty!! it's my birthday!!". Hehe..
Okay then on the day itself, my cousin Huimin and my sister gave me a drawing pad which really surprised me cause I thought they forgotten about my birthday. Okay then Xinyi and Libing came over and we had pizza and beer and ice cream. Basically just chilled and it was really nice, made me very happy. (: Then me and Xinyi went down to our bar cause it's also Wati's birthday and they gave me a bottle of Apple Sourz and a lot of hugs and I got really high on it. I love Apple Sourzzz so much. Heh oh ya, then Prashanth came down too and it was Halloween night at the bar so there's quite a number of people who dressed up and we made friends with some and got a few handshakes wishing me Happy Birthday, some even wanted to buy me a drink but well, my bottle's still not finished so I declined! Okay then I got home and skyped a little with Jay and he made me really happy. Hehe, yup, that's basically how I celebrated my birthday.
On 26th.. which is today, I had my belated birthday lunch with my family and my grandma! I love it when my grandma's around because I just love her so much. She's so young at heart, I didn't even realise she's 70 until she told me. So after lunch, I accompanied her to Chinatown to walk around then I went to nap awhile at her house. Saw my drunkard of a grandpa, he's so funny. Haha.. okay then I met Prashanth and we went to Merry Men at Robertson Quay. Food was not bad but the Black Forest Mojito was kinda weird but forced myself to finish at least 3/4 of it otherwise I'll be wasting money. I mean, wasting Prashanth's money cause it was his treat! Heh then I came home and realized there's a big awfully chocolate cake in the fridge for me! I was just thinking how I can't get any wishes because I didn't get any cake this birthday but yay! I can get my wishes now. (:
Okay, I don't usually type my day out but I really feel very blessed with the people around me and them spoiling me just because it's my birthday. I was thinking how much happier I was this birthday as compared to last birthday even though last birthday I was with him. Sorry for this wordy post but I'll try to include some pictures the next post if I'm not lazy! And I need to thank my love onesss in the next post. Hehe
So I turned 20 on the 25th and I was really dreading it because I didn't want to turn 20 so badly and I didn't have any plans at all cause I didn't know what to do. But in the end, I spent the eve of my birthday with Jia at the petrol kiosk and she got me some halloween candies which was really random and then we went over to meet my sec school friends. It was nice, really nice to be spending the first few minutes of my birthday with her. I was really excited though, kept jumping around her saying "omg omg I'm turning twenty!! it's my birthday!!". Hehe..
Okay then on the day itself, my cousin Huimin and my sister gave me a drawing pad which really surprised me cause I thought they forgotten about my birthday. Okay then Xinyi and Libing came over and we had pizza and beer and ice cream. Basically just chilled and it was really nice, made me very happy. (: Then me and Xinyi went down to our bar cause it's also Wati's birthday and they gave me a bottle of Apple Sourz and a lot of hugs and I got really high on it. I love Apple Sourzzz so much. Heh oh ya, then Prashanth came down too and it was Halloween night at the bar so there's quite a number of people who dressed up and we made friends with some and got a few handshakes wishing me Happy Birthday, some even wanted to buy me a drink but well, my bottle's still not finished so I declined! Okay then I got home and skyped a little with Jay and he made me really happy. Hehe, yup, that's basically how I celebrated my birthday.
On 26th.. which is today, I had my belated birthday lunch with my family and my grandma! I love it when my grandma's around because I just love her so much. She's so young at heart, I didn't even realise she's 70 until she told me. So after lunch, I accompanied her to Chinatown to walk around then I went to nap awhile at her house. Saw my drunkard of a grandpa, he's so funny. Haha.. okay then I met Prashanth and we went to Merry Men at Robertson Quay. Food was not bad but the Black Forest Mojito was kinda weird but forced myself to finish at least 3/4 of it otherwise I'll be wasting money. I mean, wasting Prashanth's money cause it was his treat! Heh then I came home and realized there's a big awfully chocolate cake in the fridge for me! I was just thinking how I can't get any wishes because I didn't get any cake this birthday but yay! I can get my wishes now. (:
Okay, I don't usually type my day out but I really feel very blessed with the people around me and them spoiling me just because it's my birthday. I was thinking how much happier I was this birthday as compared to last birthday even though last birthday I was with him. Sorry for this wordy post but I'll try to include some pictures the next post if I'm not lazy! And I need to thank my love onesss in the next post. Hehe
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Dog days are over
Ever since I left my job.. I've been...... staying at home, sleeping at 10pm, 11pm tops, waking up at 8am, 9am tops, eating absolutely nothing much but lozenges and my pills and.. why the fuck am I still sick? This kills my mood for pretty much anything. Have I mention that my birthday's coming? My most hated day of the year and I don't know why, I just hate it so much.
Can someone put me in an induced coma till I'm 20 and a day old?
Can someone put me in an induced coma till I'm 20 and a day old?
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Wants.
x I want my awkward sunburns to go away right now
x A lifetime supply of bnjs
x Shopping spree at candy empire
x Yonanas ice cream machine (!!)
x My original voice back, even though it's not very nice but the voice now.. yuck seriously yuck
x My nails to grow just a tad bit longer, but it's really nice the length they are now
x A nice family dinner cause it's been quite long
x To see youuuuuu~ sigh..
x A refillable cup of apple sourz with sprite lol jk, just enough to make me happy not drunk
x Many many nice nail polish
x To be able to play soccer every week and improve and not feel bad every single time I play
x To figure out what I wanna do with my hair
x And my life
x A nice day out with my friends
x Get really tanned
x And skinny
Okay I better stop before this list gets impossible ha okay kidding, it's already kinda ridiculous to start with. Heh
x A lifetime supply of bnjs
x Shopping spree at candy empire
x Yonanas ice cream machine (!!)
x My original voice back, even though it's not very nice but the voice now.. yuck seriously yuck
x My nails to grow just a tad bit longer, but it's really nice the length they are now
x A nice family dinner cause it's been quite long
x To see youuuuuu~ sigh..
x A refillable cup of apple sourz with sprite lol jk, just enough to make me happy not drunk
x Many many nice nail polish
x To be able to play soccer every week and improve and not feel bad every single time I play
x To figure out what I wanna do with my hair
x And my life
x A nice day out with my friends
x Get really tanned
x And skinny
Okay I better stop before this list gets impossible ha okay kidding, it's already kinda ridiculous to start with. Heh
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