Delicate.

Year's 2018.

How did I lose track of not writing down my thoughts for the whole of 2017.

So.. a whole full year (plus minus a few months) of gymming and exercising regularly saw me losing 5kg of fats and gaining 3kg of muscles. None of my fitness goals came to life though, not even the losing weight part. I can feel myself getting stronger, leaner (???) and definitely mentally fitter too. Gym's fun but I live for those days where I'm on my period so I can stay home all day.

And did I mention, I quit my longest lasting job yet? Close to 2 years and threw it away just for 2 annoying colleagues. But the fact was I was no longer happy coming in to work as I did 2 years ago. I used to be excited and happy to be turning up for work, but that 1 month plus was just pure "should i mc?". As much as I'm relieved shit's over, I'm scared shitless about the future. Back to the same old me, slacking at home, finding jobs that don't seem to get back to me, feeling useless and afraid of the future.

I miss writing but I realise every old post is something bad, reading it back just brings back really bad memories. I'm also afraid of falling, failing, and being stuck in this rut. I'm scared that I might not be able to find something that I really love anymore and call it a job. I'm scared that every move I make will be a mistake.

I'm also on my period so every emotions are amplified so I shall just leave it as it is until these feelings fade.

And I'm 26. What the fuck?