Twenty

I was intending to blog about my birthday next week because I think the celebration's not over. Heh. But I just wanna say some things because I'm feeling really really really blessed this moment and next time if I'm in a bad mood, I can just read back on how I felt. (:

So I turned 20 on the 25th and I was really dreading it because I didn't want to turn 20 so badly and I didn't have any plans at all cause I didn't know what to do. But in the end, I spent the eve of my birthday with Jia at the petrol kiosk and she got me some halloween candies which was really random and then we went over to meet my sec school friends. It was nice, really nice to be spending the first few minutes of my birthday with her. I was really excited though, kept jumping around her saying "omg omg I'm turning twenty!! it's my birthday!!". Hehe..

Okay then on the day itself, my cousin Huimin and my sister gave me a drawing pad which really surprised me cause I thought they forgotten about my birthday. Okay then Xinyi and Libing came over and we had pizza and beer and ice cream. Basically just chilled and it was really nice, made me very happy. (: Then me and Xinyi went down to our bar cause it's also Wati's birthday and they gave me a bottle of Apple Sourz and a lot of hugs and I got really high on it. I love Apple Sourzzz so much. Heh oh ya, then Prashanth came down too and it was Halloween night at the bar so there's quite a number of people who dressed up and we made friends with some and got a few handshakes wishing me Happy Birthday, some even wanted to buy me a drink but well, my bottle's still not finished so I declined! Okay then I got home and skyped a little with Jay and he made me really happy. Hehe, yup, that's basically how I celebrated my birthday.

On 26th.. which is today, I had my belated birthday lunch with my family and my grandma! I love it when my grandma's around because I just love her so much. She's so young at heart, I didn't even realise she's 70 until she told me. So after lunch, I accompanied her to Chinatown to walk around then I went to nap awhile at her house. Saw my drunkard of a grandpa, he's so funny. Haha.. okay then I met Prashanth and we went to Merry Men at Robertson Quay. Food was not bad but the Black Forest Mojito was kinda weird but forced myself to finish at least 3/4 of it otherwise I'll be wasting money. I mean, wasting Prashanth's money cause it was his treat! Heh then I came home and realized there's a big awfully chocolate cake in the fridge for me! I was just thinking how I can't get any wishes because I didn't get any cake this birthday but yay! I can get my wishes now. (:

Okay, I don't usually type my day out but I really feel very blessed with the people around me and them spoiling me just because it's my birthday. I was thinking how much happier I was this birthday as compared to last birthday even though last birthday I was with him. Sorry for this wordy post but I'll try to include some pictures the next post if I'm not lazy! And I need to thank my love onesss in the next post. Hehe

Dog days are over

Ever since I left my job.. I've been...... staying at home, sleeping at 10pm, 11pm tops, waking up at 8am, 9am tops, eating absolutely nothing much but lozenges and my pills and.. why the fuck am I still sick? This kills my mood for pretty much anything. Have I mention that my birthday's coming? My most hated day of the year and I don't know why, I just hate it so much.

Can someone put me in an induced coma till I'm 20 and a day old?

Wants.

x I want my awkward sunburns to go away right now
x A lifetime supply of bnjs
x Shopping spree at candy empire
x Yonanas ice cream machine (!!)
x My original voice back, even though it's not very nice but the voice now.. yuck seriously yuck
x My nails to grow just a tad bit longer, but it's really nice the length they are now
x A nice family dinner cause it's been quite long
x To see youuuuuu~ sigh..
x A refillable cup of apple sourz with sprite lol jk, just enough to make me happy not drunk
x Many many nice nail polish
x To be able to play soccer every week and improve and not feel bad every single time I play
x To figure out what I wanna do with my hair
x And my life
x A nice day out with my friends
x Get really tanned
x And skinny

Okay I better stop before this list gets impossible ha okay kidding, it's already kinda ridiculous to start with. Heh

Update.

So after 5 days (Sunday to Thursday, today's Friday) of staying at home, trying my best to recover (which is eating mum's old medicine; popping honey&lemon strepsils like it's candy and spamming warm water), I finally went to the doctor just now and he told me the left side of my throat is swollen. I didn't even realize that until I touch it myself. I really hope I get well in time for soccer tomorrow morning but I think it's a long shot, but I'll just go and train and just don't shout at all. Been looking forward to soccer ever since I left my day job and I hate missing training even though I'm not training for anything and it sucks that I can't go swimming too. Argh, just.. lying at the bed at home 24/7 and not doing shit. It's killing me but I guess I'm not going to die afterall. Life's not that good to me.

Okay, guess that's all.

Die

I'm 51% sure I'll die soon. Like in two days kinda soon.

Focussss...

I'll print out the portfolio that I need to do up and just.. put them on my desk so that I'll remember that I NEED to do it.

3 days without my voice and still counting, somehow I can get used to this. Being mute.

/

How come it's possible to hate yourself so much?

At peace

You live your life and I'll live mine. I'm really tired of being upset for people who don't give a shit about me. There's far too many people I've regard highly of when I'm sure I'm nothing to them. I might not be at peace with it now, but I will be soon. This time I'll be smart enough to leave first.

And I have no voice right now. Like.. I can't talk. Well, I guess there's a first for everything.

Blah

I just miss you.

Clueless

I'm still trying to figure out whether I miss you, or you, or just miss having someone there but tell me, how would I ever know?

Freedom

In exactly a week's time, I'll be free of that 9.20am to 6pm schedule. Though I still have no clue what I want to do in life, I'm just so 100% sure that this is definitely not what I want to do. I'm so glad to be leaving this job.

Today, I bought a sandwich maker. Yesterday, I bought some slimming pills which is so contradicting to what I bought today but oh well, after I quit, I'll get to exercise everyday and yeah, I can't fucking wait.