Wishful Thinking

Here I am, in front of my macbook pro, munching on a bowl of spicy prawn crackers despite my throat dying, sounding incredibly lame. But okay, I had a big bowl of chicken mushroom campbell soup with a large packet of enoki mushroom and that's all it takes to bring me back to when I had my holidays free because I always have that for lunch. Miss having nothing to do and nothing to worry about. Nowadays, it'd be worrying if I will need to stay back for OT and etch more shits or finish more layouts. It's so annoying to be sitting in front of a giant screen and face photoshop & indesign for 7 hours and sometimes more. :/ Anyways, we can totally start the countdown next week. 10 more working days then it'll end. :)

But with you, I look forward to ending work because I know I'll be seeing you. You make me so happy. I don't want to leave you.

You make me wanna get this party started

Today was the first time in my life that I had seen a dead body, though it's a dog. I don't count tiny pets like fishes, birds and etc so yeah. It was a sad wtf moment because I got reminded of the deaths that I've had experienced and the body lying there.. is just so real but it's gone. Understand? It sucks.

I can feel myself falling sick but I'm still eating my milo nuggets. Urgh, never can I take care of myself properly. I feel so inferior and every time I see myself in your eyes, I feel so disgusted because I can see my ugly self.

Monday Blues

Alright, going to do a short post then I'm heading off to bed. Today was a chill day, went over to Fion's chalet. Left pretty early cause there's cremation to attend tomorrow. So not looking forward to it. But yeah.

Love how we can talk about almost everything now.

Hey baby

Went to a dog farm today at Pasir Ris. Those puppies in that small crowded cages really makes me feel kinda sad cause they're still so young and like, they must squeeze inside there. Urgh.. Anyways, chiwawas are so damn cute!!

Everyday I give a little of myself to you, then at the end of the day I'd question myself if.. everything's going way too fast and might actually end fast too. Gotta have faith.

Stare

When I find something appealing/attractive/good, I'll just keep staring at it. Till the features loses its balance and then it'll be fucking ugly to me. But you. I can stare at you the whole day and still find you beautiful.

TGIF

One more day to the weekends. Can't wait. :)

Maybe all I need

Left with 3 more weeks of work but after that will be China and not much time will be spent with you. Everyday I can't wait to end work because I'll be seeing you.

Today I was so thickskin and I almost cried in front of you but held everything in because crying's no use right. But at least I got what I want.

1<3

/ I have nothing else to ask for anymore because you're so truthful to me. Sometimes it hurts because the truth hurts, for both the one saying it and the one listening. I thank you for being honest but my heart breaks every time you speak. This love is getting a little too.. much.

// Argh, I feel so horrible. I feel like crying but there's no time to do so. I don't know what to feel. Such a bad way to start the morning.

They don't matter.

We will last.

/ And I miss her. It's just so weird without her in the house. Swear.

Coming home

Today was such a bad and sad day. Rip okay, I will miss you.

Thank you for being honest with me. I know it's hard, drawing that line, choosing what to say so that you won't hurt me with their words. But it's okay, it's expected anyways and I didn't expect much from the beginning but who says no expectations equals no disappointments? Because truth is, you'll get hurt anyways.

Your love cuts me.

Nothing better than this

Mummy actually remembered that I wanted the white rabbit sweet and she bought them for me this morning. Heh

We made pizza for lunch and the rest of the day was spent watching stupid movies and playing stupid games. I'm going to miss your stupid face.

Work

Argh

The more I think about it, the more I think it's true.

Fuck me.

/ Think think think think think until you siao.

Walk and walk non stop

Today was such a tiring day at work. We really have nothing more to etch cause me and Xinyi too efficient ah (hehe) then yeah, we went to United Square to return stuff. From 12pm to 3pm we were out. Seriously, I felt like dying. Too tired. Then from 3pm to 7pm.. we snacked a lot, hmm, did nothing.. found quite a number of backgrounds and yeah, did nothing. So tired so tired so tired.

Alright, gonna nua now cause meeting someone later for my 1 hour massage. Ha

Ahhh

What's wrong with me?

No, this can't be revenge.

I like the way

But when love is right, it feels so nice.

Someone once said that once you experience something real, your first true love or anything remotely close to the sheer purity of that first love, nothing will ever compare. And once you start a new relationship, no matter what, after that first love, you will go into that relationship with two people: The guy who holds your hand and the guy who holds your heart. Most likely these two people aren’t the same, but if you find someone who is, then that’s how you know you have the real thing.

But then you came closer

Work's okay. The workload makes us sleepy at times but the radio's random songs keeps us awake most of the time. Or when we can't take it.. we just sneak to the toilet and take a very short nap.

I'm actually happy nowadays. I can say this even though yesterday night was horrible for me but it's just one of those nights that you feel shitty and you question everything. I thank you for actually making me happy because I didn't know I could. But I am. As much as I kinda dislike this, but I don't mind staying like this. I'd regret saying this because if we stayed like this for a long while.. I'll feel even shittier than last night.

Giving you all this because I can and because I can't for the next 2 months to come and who knows, maybe after the 2 months I can't either. Nothing's certain but I want us to be.

At war

The pessimistic and optimistic sides in my mind are at war and right now, the pessimist is winning - by a huge lead.

I remember.. how much it hurts.. when you did all those stuff. How could I let you momentarily let myself forget all those pain.. the scars.. everything.

What do you want from me

Hush hush

Today waa quite happening but I can't blog about it because it's so private and shit and I don't know, might not even tell anyone.

But I'm happy.

Helpless as it is

There's no running but I can't really face it. Today, I realized how much you meant to me and how fucked I am because of it.

Anyways, Jasmine's elated birthday party's today. Was nice to see faces that I haven't been seeing for quite some time. I like hanging out with them cause most of them have cars so like, free ride home. Hahaha, and Chai's so nice. I told her I'm going China for 2 months and she wants to send me off. :)

/ You make me happy. But there's nobody that could make me so upset too. So. Yeah. How? Who can help me?

Why?

Aren't you scared you'll miss me with everything you're doing right now?

Because I am. So fucking scared.

Anyways, I got my Canon G12 today. Damn chio, I love.

I do it everytime

Work's bearable cause there's Xinyi and Libing. I really don't know what to do if I'm interning alone because I think.. I'll literally die there so who gives a shit for the pay. The companions' more important.


I opened the door for this model, me + Xinyi and Libing both think that she's damn pretty but like the rest of our colleagues doesn't think so. Wah but she is. Really. Right? ^^

Smart listens to the head, stupid listens to the heart. This is really.. quite hard for me. I have no idea what to do.

Take a bite of my heart tonight.

Current favourite song of the moment is Animal by Neon Trees.

Work was work, boring but bearable at times. I love opening the door for models and asking them to take a seat. Sometimes I really think I should have taken up Event Management but like, I didn't even heard of that course before until Year 1. Then, yeah, the usual dinner after work. :)

You, you, you, you, you, you're just.. enough for me. I hope it's the same for you too.

/
Anything other than yes is no
Anything other than stay is go
Anything less than "I love you" is lying

Lie

You said nah, but I smiled because I knew you were lying.

Don't be so sure of yourself, because you might just cause your own downfall.

/ And tell you guys something stupid. Back to December is Xinyi and mine song but yesterday when it was on radio then halfway singing, I was like your december very good ah? then Xinyi was like no ah then I was like then why this one our song?! Hahaha, so dumb.

Secret project.

I'm gonna do something. Day #01, #02, #03 and so on till day #40 because that's when I'm gone.

I'm so excited about this!!!!! :D

And I will keep you in my mind, the way you make love so fine

I like it when they like the smores that I've made! Feels happy when people around me are happy!
I like it when I reach home and everybody's home. Haven't been home before 8.30pm since last Thursday. :/
I like it when me and Xinyi sings along to the radio at work. ^^
I like it when.. you're sweet and nice to me.

Life have been treating me way too good nowadays, I'm just waiting for the downfall.

/ If I don't give my heart to you, you can't tear it in two.

I don't know why I try to run.

I can't really finish a bowl of pasta, or a roll of popiah cause too much of the same thing is quite sickening to me. But you.. I could do this.

You. Me. Everyday.

Just tonight.

- Imm
- Tiong Baru
- Clementi

A good end to my weekends and all the best to me for internship tomorrow. So excited to etch those pictures...

Grandma's having this operation tomorrow and even though it's minor, I hope everything goes well. :)

Deleted and saved all my previous posts somewhere else.. just to be safe.

Cherish and appreciate. All that I'll do right now.

“Your memory is a monster; you forget — it doesn’t. It simply files things away. It keeps things for you, or hides things from you — and summons them to your recall with a will of its own. You think you have a memory; but it has you.”

— A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving