Hihihi

So.. this post, the last of 2011, will be very rushed because I've got a busy day later on.

2011. Where do I start? Hmm.. Alright, in the beginning of the year, I found myself still trapped in my previous relationship and it was really hard for me to get back on my feet. But I've also found someone who helped me through it, someone who's a big part of my life right now, someone who was actually a big part of my life and the someone who, I think, was my biggest gain this year. I was mostly happy, and I still am.

But what's life without any shits happening right? This year I've also experience getting fired for the first time, surviving a 2 months long distance relationship (it's really hard), been lied to the first time, meeting old friends in the longest time, clubbing a little more often, going Phuket for the first time with love, attending my first cremation (RIP Q), mum being sick, driving for the first time, bought the most expensive Christmas present for love and making cards for Christmas and really enjoying it and I guess that's about it.

All in all, my new year's resolution is for myself to be happy, to take things in my stride and to accept whatever that is being thrown at me.

So.. I'm having my last lunch with the family later and a sleepover at my girl's crib. 2012, I'm ready for you.

Between the drinks and subtle things.

Reading all those blogs, make me wish I had their lives. To the extent of me typing this and crying because I'm so jealous. Right now, I'm in a ungrateful place. Somewhere that I just don't really appreciate all that I have in front of me and just keep wanting more. Trust me, I hate myself for this. I keep telling myself I deserve better and I know I do, but how much better is enough? Where is that line that defines how much you've actually deserve and how much is asking for too much, for going over your head and being selfish with your wants?

I'll just be entirely selfish and open and show you guys what I want.

I want a group of friends I can have spontaneous adventures with, just because planning your plans is just.. smart but boring at the same time and an adventure's not meant to be boring.
I want everybody who left to come back because I miss you all. (I've just burst into tears after I typed this because, I really miss them all)
I want someone who is willingly there for me, no matter what, because.. that's what everybody wants right?
I want to stop being so fucking weak and depend on only myself for happiness.
I want you to come home. Now.

Peace out.

I'll carry you home tonight.

A relationship ain't suppose to be like this.. is it? Try putting yourself in my shoes and see the things I found out everyday and tell me, would you have 100% trust in yourself?

I'll just try to put aside these feelings and make myself busy. Well, tomorrow's going to be a busy day. Movie date in the afternoon + popeyes for dinner :)

X'mas

Went ice skating with my aiai and her aiai and prassy. It's so fun but right now it's killing my left leg, probably because of the way I skate. Then thai food for dinner but nothing beats the Tom Yam in Phuket.

Got my Xmas text from the boy in the afternoon and I was really not expecting it. Ahhh, gosh, I miss him like crazy and it's only day 2. I still have a week more to go without him. Blah, guess I'm just going to sleep the feeling off.


Tonight we are young // So let's set the world on fire // We can burn brighter than the sun.

Eve

Michael Buble's Christmas covers on replay and coloring Christmas cards for my dear ones. I miss you my dear, I just want to lie in bed with you and do nothing.

:(

Okay he's gone. I can't believe I cried.

Update.

1) Out with Xinyi
2) Finally tried I love Taimei, and I really love their seaweed fries.
3) Christmas cookies which I'm not going to give anyone I think cause I'm so unhappy with the taste :/
4) A little chubby baby <3

Alright, am heading out for dinner with the family in a while. Gonna have steamboat tomorrow with Grandma and family ^^ and Sunday, might be ice skating (in the spirit of Christmas) and next Wednesday is JB with Grace and maybe clubbing at night (last ladies night ppl!) and I dont know already.

I'm going to miss you damn it.