Erm

I'm the stupidest fuck I've ever met. Swear. Did things that I never expected myself to do and I really don't know what I'm doing and why I'm doing all this. If it's in the name of love then I guess love isn't blind.. it makes you dumb.

No.. not now.

Hi

I'm so far behind INDS yet, I can't really care. Have absolutely no idea why.

This weekend has been the craziest I've had in months.

1) Drinking on friday night
2) Made new friends
3) Continued drinking saturday morning
4) Tortured a guy.. seriously, tortured.
5) Crazy bitch mode on saturday afternoon-evening and was dead set on breaking up with that bitch
6) Screamed and started hitting him when I saw him in his room
7) Didn't break up
8) I am that lame
9) I still hate him

And, I don't like his new maid. Urgh, she actually ganged up with him to keep me from coming in. Oh wells. Good news are that I'm going to get my shoes and have popeyes for lunch.

Even if.

I know that maybe I'm a little too sensitive, a little too blunt, a little too paranoid and the list can go on but I also know that I'm only human and I deserve at the very least, some respect. But you.. the one who's the closest/dearest to me.. can't even respect me enough to tell me some basic things.. then.. honestly, I don't know. Is it too much to ask?

Lights will guide you home,
and ignite your bones,
and I will try to fix you.

/

I heard what you said. I’m not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved.”
— Shana Abé

Resolutions.

Okay, I know it's probably very late for resolutions but I just want to have them cause I think I'm really being a bitch to myself now. Plus my resolutions are like not that hard to achieve, I just need some discipline.

1) Learn the lyrics to Super Bass (hahaha I am so lame but I swear the song makes me happy)

2) Exercise more (I've got like 362 days to like exercise and don't tell me, I am so lazy that I can only exercise like once in 3 months?! Come on, I was soccer captain once. Don't be lazy please)

3) Learn to make myself happy (this is the most important shit ah, do whatever it takes, if clubbing makes me happy then go clubbing, if eating damn alot of bnjs makes me happy then go eat, if shopping makes me happy then go fucking shop.)

4) Go overseas alone (Need to be independent ah, seriously. Can't tahan myself being so scared + weak + lame already)

5) Learn to live for myself (don't think I need to explain this right?)

Okay I guess that's all. The comments in the bracket are all me scolding myself. Hahaha, how lame can I get? But seriously, I need to change already. How old liao?

Ideas.

I wanna go overseas to work and like just.. better myself after I graduate. Maybe just working in a coffee shop somewhere. Surround myself with new things, new ideas and new people. I think.. I need to. I've been too scared all my life to do anything, scared to talk to people, scared to do this, scared to do that. That's not the way to live.