Fast forward?

I can't wait to grow up and have my little baby and just stay at home and not have anything to worry about. Am going to be selfish and let my husband work. Or marry someone rich, someone who can and will provide for me, someone who will be faithful and understanding and loving.

Right now, I don't think that someone can be you.

/

And a little something to how I feel.

I realize my problem isn't what they've done, but instead that they have the ability to do so. I am extremely controlling when it comes to my emotions and my relationships. Everything is a choice, every statement is an option, and every action has a reaction- all of which I analyze before making any form of assertion. Any words I say are true, any emotion I express is real, and anyone I spend time with I care about. I put extreme effort into each and every relationship I have, so I am extremely offended when the same care is not given back to me. It's a sign of true nonchalance, a display of indifference so belittling because I wasn't even worth a moment to consider how it could hurt.