Accept

I must accept the fact that nobody is like me, and that love works in many ways. Just because someone doesn't agree with you or go along with you doesn't mean they don't love you. It just means they're being a bitch or they just can't give in. I must accept it. I must accept it. It is really for my own good.

I came to sp, with the thoughts of you haunting me so badly that I break down every night, trying to find a reason for myself to be feeling like this, trying to let you go because it really has been too long. And now, it's just a couple of months to graduation and fuck, please don't fucking let me graduate with those thoughts haunting me. This would just means I'm back to square 1 and I think it's clear to everyone that square fucking 1 just sucks.

Yes I can.

I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds I can finish my inds

#whoamikidding

Been 2 years since I've let you go.

I've had two choices today. To get mad/heartbroken and question you the moment you wake up, or to stay nonchalant and just ask you out. I'm so glad I made the right one cause I'm so happy now. :3

Bali

Maybe I'll sit by the beach and catch a tan. Or read a book and enjoy the sea breeze. Maybe I'll meet up with a friend and hang out at the mall. Or have a drink or two or maybe three in the bar. Maybe I'll walk around town and take pictures of everything I see. Or just sit in my room and take a nap.

I just want to find myself again.

Fingers crossed.

Ah, tonight. I can think of 5 reasons why I should have my own room.

1. I want to sing along to my songs without letting anyone hear me
2. I would totally change my room layout to something that's easier for me to do my work
3. I want my privacy
4. So I can have sleepovers ^^
5. I'm old enough to?

I love you puggy, do not fail me now.

Stagnant.

If there's a word that describes me, it'll be stagnant. I'm not hurt like how I would be last time but I ain't happy either. I've been talking to a lot of different people lately, just getting to know what they think and I've been opened up to many different opinions. Yet the only one that matters is mine, and the only one I need to know is yours.

Guess I'm just waiting for the last straw.

/ What am I doing really?

/

From today onwards, I'm going to focus on what makes me happy and fuck everything that doesn't. Isn't this what life's about? I might love you, so I've got all the patience in the world for ya, but I ain't saint I can't be here forever for someone who's not afraid for me to leave.

Might be holding your hand but I'm holding it loose.

Crazier.

See? In the end, nothing will change. You'll still be the same and I'll still be at the losing end. Hmm, time to wise up. :) And and and, the things that I did are probably worst than what you did so this is my retribution I guess. #ohwell

Relieved.

You told me how it felt and that's all I need. No hopes on it though because well, I've been done that road before.

/ Reading sad tweets from my broken-hearted girlfriends on twitter just makes me want to talk to each and every of them, comfort them and give them advice that I won't take.

Next time.

This taiwan bulldog we met at pet's lover at vivocity. :)

Awesome, I'm gonna have a lot of ugly dogs in the future. The uglier the better, something alone the line of french bulldogs and little white pugs. Just so damn adorable!

Fast forward?

I can't wait to grow up and have my little baby and just stay at home and not have anything to worry about. Am going to be selfish and let my husband work. Or marry someone rich, someone who can and will provide for me, someone who will be faithful and understanding and loving.

Right now, I don't think that someone can be you.

/

And a little something to how I feel.

I realize my problem isn't what they've done, but instead that they have the ability to do so. I am extremely controlling when it comes to my emotions and my relationships. Everything is a choice, every statement is an option, and every action has a reaction- all of which I analyze before making any form of assertion. Any words I say are true, any emotion I express is real, and anyone I spend time with I care about. I put extreme effort into each and every relationship I have, so I am extremely offended when the same care is not given back to me. It's a sign of true nonchalance, a display of indifference so belittling because I wasn't even worth a moment to consider how it could hurt.

What I feel.

I feel like I've not completely healed and I feel like I'm cheating you.

I feel like leaving but I feel that I'm stucked.

But most importantly, it's not about what I feel anymore.

/

So cheena, but yeah.

The only reason we hold back, is because we think we have an endless amount of chances or that there will always be one more. But as time disappears into the past and life goes on, those chances will run out, and you’ll either live with eternal happiness for being brave, or eternal regret for holding back.

I have died everyday

Everyone go listen to 'A thousand years' by christina perri. Go go go!

I love the rain, plus with the song, I just feel quite happy. I don't know why but my back's aching after my nap and I feel quite cranky but at the same time I'm quite happy?

Skinny love

Even though I want you to treat me better, just a tiny bit.
Even though I want you to tell me how you feel, instead of ignoring me.
Even though I want you to show some care and concern, so I'd feel a little more secure.
Despite all those, I don't mind saying sorry first. Because I know you mean more than my stupid ego. One thing I know is that my faith's running low but do you?

Throw a little salt, we were never here

Embrace

Met up with my old buddy today and went to ikea for dinner. Totally ordered too much but oh well ^^ bought my present for him and wooo, I can't wait for Sunday. 8th 8th 8th, with so many more to come. :)

Gotta love what you have.

Jealousy

I stared at her pictures, till her features go all wrong and she turns real ugly. And then I realise my jealousy's all for nothing.

But then again, I'm always wrong.

/ There are some things which you have to figure out yourself. No point saying, you just gotta realise.

Mystery

They don't understand why I love you

I don't blame them, I don't know either.

All I know is that when I'm not with you, I wanna be with you.

But it seems like love conquers all is just another.. string of words put together so nicely.

Yet again

Everytime I'm stressed out or just very worried, I'd bite my nails, pick on them till it hurts.

Sigh, ugly nails.

Trust me

I know.. I know how you feel. Head vs heart.

But we're different because my heart's winning.

/ and it hurts for me. whereas for you, you don't give a shit

// I really can't do this anymore. I just wish I could say it

Proper update.

Really quite shocked at the amount of views I've gotten. Hmm, hahaha. Okay whatever.

I want to watch one day
I want my tomyam soup
I want to stuff myself with Ben and Jerry

Thank you for the dozen of homemade muffins, it's delicious. I'm so sorry I can't return your love. Inter-racial r/s just don't roll with me.

/ here comes the tears. I prayed for my family member's health all the time, but you always fail me. I can ignore the pain on love, but family.. that's rough.

// because i've always felt like if someone have to get hurt, i'd rather it happen on me. here comes the breakdown.

/

I really don't know what's wrong, whether it's me, or it's you. But I really don't want to play the blame game. I just want this to work out.

#justsaying

If we ever break up, it would be me trying too hard and you not trying enough.