.that his words hurt me real bad sometimes
.that I don't know when he is joking
.and when he is not
.that I hate myself
.that in this foreign country, the last thing I need is his coldness (but that's the way he is, so fuck me.)
I'm in this mood where I want to cry because things are so bad but they are not really that bad because I don't exactly know what the problem is. I think I just miss him. But yeah, 20 more days. I can do this, we can do this.
Right now, I'm so inspired by models, just standing there looking pretty tall and skinny with the garments.
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