The way I am.

 I'm no one special, just another wide-eyed girl who's desperately in love with you.

All wrong.

I know what I want to do. But I can't. Oh the irony.

It's not about your scars

Now that I'm jobless, well, I feel quite free to do whatever I want but I know I gots to gets my shit together soon.


Me "I went out with him today"
Grandma "Wah why? You like him is it?"
Me "Huh.. no lah."
Grandma "Then he got hold your hand anot?"
Me "Yeah, got"
Grandma "Means you like him lah"

Just thought it was quite funny, grandma's reaction when I said I went out with him and when I told her we held hands.

That's the way I loved you.

It took me 4 months to get over you, maybe a little less. But I am SO happy to say that even though I miss you, but the last thing I wanna do now is be back together with you. Such a destructive relationship, you were tearing me down while I built your ego up. Thanks but no thanks.

Anyways, went out with J yesterday. I like his company, very much. But it just makes it so much clearer that we can't be together. Oh well.

Deja vu

Why does it feel like everything is happening all over again, all at once?

I pray for your good health. I pray if you should pass away, it would be painless and fast but you must, must, must say your goodbyes first. I pray that you know that everybody loves you deeply and that nobody would/could/should ever replace you.

I pray that I can get through this.

Just get your ass back home.

I'm so glad that mum dad are home from Europe. The presents and the treats are pretty awesome. And my hair's looking much better even though sometimes, I just wanna cringe at the sight of myself. I got so pissed off on Friday night while working till I cried when I was ranting it out to Noelle, such a mess. Feel so stupid for letting her get the better of me, but okay. Hopefully things will get better. I have no idea why I'm typing in such a long paragraph, I guess I just want to get things out. I like champagne + orange juice, it makes it easier to drink. I don't like champagne itself, it's gross. I like rum and coke. I will not drink more than once a week. I will paint and draw more while looking for jobs that are suitable for me in the long term. I will read more good books. I will, I will, and I will.

For old time's sake.

Everything is changing and nothing is the same.

Started blogging when I was 18 and now, I'm turning 20 this year. At 18, I would never imagine that I'd actually kiss a guy on the third date and date a freaking.. ok I'd rather keep it a secret. I'm just quite shocked at how much I've changed and.. how aimless I am right now. God, save me.