2012

This is the last post for 2012. Honestly, it has been a very sucky year. At the start of the year, I wanted to die and now? The end of the year and I'm utterly disappointed that the world isn't going to end because I still feel like I want to die. Yes, that's it. My new year's resolution is I just want to die.

Christmas

X'mas was spent with my entire group of family, aunties and uncles included, at my tiny grandma's apartment. Despite being treated like idiots at steamboat, I still love them all the same.

And he's back. But I feel like going. Goodbye.

Simplier.

Stop saying you miss me when you made no efforts to contact me or whatsoever. Fuck this shit seriously. I know I'm easy and cheap but fuck, I'm so tired of this. I hate people, hate them to the core. I don't understand anything anymore. Fuck.

Steps

It's time to say hi to a few months of fast paced nightlife. I'm tired but that's the only way I see things go. I'm scared but there's no other way to do. I promise to never lose myself in this job.

Yesterday a bunch of guys with suits and ladies in their nice dresses came to the bar and they were quite generous with their tips and that made me quite happy.

P.s, saying you miss me, and actually missing me are two very different things. But I'll fall for it all the same.

White noises.

I do not like this and I find myself wanting to cry for the first time in a long time.
  
As much as I crave contact at times, I find myself dreading it. The accidental brushing, the light bumping, whatever, whenever. No matter who it is, I pull myself away because I cannot stand the closeness but with you my dear, I want more.

Things

Things I'll never say out loud
x I want to meet you
x I miss you
x I wish we were real

Things I want
x Rebecca Minkoff's Mini Mac
x Hugo Boss's Deep Red
x Cute dresses

I wish... I could make up my mind.